im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
