you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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