wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
