There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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