We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
