who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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