its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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