I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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