One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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