i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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