im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
