Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
