fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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