tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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