so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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