Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
