She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
