pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
