Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
