I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize