No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
