How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
