white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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