Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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