Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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