My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
