If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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