none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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