just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
