i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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