I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to have your abortion
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
