We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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