Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
