I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
