and you said cock pushups were impossible
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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