I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm just crazy horny about you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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