She said her name was "party"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
