I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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