Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
