My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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