He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
