escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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