i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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