Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
