it wasn't lemon gatorade
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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