Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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