Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
