I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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