what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
