Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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