you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
