He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize