I'll bet she douches with gravy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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