I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
