So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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