Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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