my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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