your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
