Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
