Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
