Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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