You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
