she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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