oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
