you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize